Actualizations: You Don't Have to Rehearse to Be Yourself by Stewart Emery
While reading: Page 32-33: “Before we got born we were living in a super little apartment…everything was taken care of for us. It was warm, it was comfortable, the climate was perfectly even; the room service was terrific; all the food and everything else we needed were piped in; there were no loud noises and very few intrusions. Then…we get evicted…an unpleasant shock.” Believe it or not these words are in service of a joyous vision of what life can and should be.
Upon completion: I wish I had noted what author referred to this title, so I could credit him or her. I read a different book by Emery long ago. This one has some incredible insights if you can get past the repetition (think Knots by R. D. Laing) and the jargon of the 70s. “A true friend is someone who supports you the way you really are and kicks you in the ass when the way you’re being represents a lie about the way you really are.” (p. 150) “We actually have to take the time to sit down and have a conversation with ourselves and let ourselves know what we appreciate about ourselves. And also we need to forgive ourselves…Acknowledge what worked in an appreciative way, and acknowledge what did not work in a compassionate way. Ultimately, you are the best friend you have. Get to know and appreciate the person you have slept with all your life. (p.150)
He has some wonderful things to say about child rearing, as well as how goals are wonderful in the context of “the game of life,” and a trap if we forget it’s a game. He concludes the book delightfully on page 222, “We must grow beyond dependence and preoccupation with the avoidance of loss. We will then arrive at independence. Which is a trap unless we see it as a prelude to the master game: the art of creative interdependence, the art of playing together in reality, creating results of joyful service, and being mirrors to each other’s enlightenment.”
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